Don’t be too hard on yourself

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First, I wanted to write a blogpost about toxic relationships and some strategies to deal with such relationships or people. I’ll write this post soon because I think most people have had contact with some kind of toxic people. I’m just not in the mood and feel uncreative now. Everything seems to be arduous currently. I have so much to do but lack the energy. Then I remembered what I tell other people in similar situations: “Don’t be too hard on yourself!”. So, I chose an alternative and tell you how I deal with my struggles at the moment while trying to not be too hard on myself. #self-care.

Struggles all Around or Are you too hard on yourself?

I realized that I’m currently struggling due to time limits and too much tasks to get finished. Additionally, I have some emotional troubles with my social environment that I cannot change right now. The worst obstacle is that although I should write some artices, I’m not in writing-mood and feel unimaginative, untimeliness. Not the best mood for a blogger!

Normally, I change the things I’m not content with but this isn’t possible right now due to several reasons.

The Want – Tos

I want to run my business efficiently and make some money out of it. I want to write those papers for my philosophy studies. I want to exercise and to got out to the barn for a ride with my horses. I want to do so many things at once – but at the same time I’m so tired and run out of energy…

As a multi-passionate person I should got used to this situation because I always want to do everything. The massive amount of cool things I want to do are sometimes paralizing. Maybe you mentioned that I don’t write “must do” but “want to” and that’s the truth. I don’t have to build a business or study philosophy but I want to! In my opinion this makes an important difference. If I have to do something I mostly have no choice but if I want to do something it was my choice to do it. Then, I can find a way how to do it.

Friendly reminder: You have to take action to get your things done!

3 Tips how to get out of despair without being too hard on yourself

1. Step back a little

I remember my friend Murielle, a coach from Belgium who told me to take a deep breath and reduce my tasks. I was allowed to do only 2-3 tasks per day for some days in a row. When I tried this out, it felt strange in the beginning but it worked. The procedure builds a new habit to get you out of your despair.

It also made me aware that I don’t have to do all things that I want to do at once. I am allowed to set new deadlines and switch the tasks within a week. I can pick up a paused task or project whenever I want. No pressure. This prevents me from getting too tired and from getting stuck.

The awareness that I have the time to do the things I want is so peaceful and I feel less tired. To force myself into too much work drains my energy and the creativity I need for writing.

2. Time and project management

The next big perception was that most common planning tools and techniques just don’t work for me. I have to adapt the tools for my purpose. I use various tools for planning (e.g. Good morning, Good Life Planner, …) because I cannot stick to one single tool. One works for university another one for business needs and a third for planning my private life. Seems a bit confusing but it works for me.

I encourage you to educate yourself with project management and time management. Then you want to adapt your knowledge to your personal needs. It’s great if you feel good with a custom tool or technique. If you are unsatisfied, don’t be afraid to customize it.

3. Take some rest – don’t be too Hard on yourself!

The main thing is that I would never force a friend into too much work or too many tasks. I’d tell others: don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m very patient with other people but I’m so hard on myself. I know I shouldn’t but my little companion „perfectionism“ has another opinion about that. It was a big revelation when I realized that I get the same stuff done although I didn’t lose my head and included regular pauses during work.

I’m not really a workaholic, but I tend to binge-work sometimes. This is different from the experience of flow because if you are in a flow you gain energy out of it. In my case I get worn out.

Give yourself time and respect and most important: don’t be too hard on yourself. I promise you’ll finish your tasks or projects as well but in better condition and with much more happiness!

Then, creativity and energy appear and everything magically gets easier.

What are your strategies if you are stressed or too hard to yourself? Leave a comment below!

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